Maybe it's because I have lived in a third world country for half of my adult life. Maybe it's because it just seems ridiculous. Maybe it's because it makes me think of the poor people on the movie "Wall-E".
Using a public restroom these days is just so easy and convenient! Everything is automatic! I don't have to touch or do anything to get my hands squeaky clean and dry. I don't even have to flush. The commode knows when I'm finished! The soap dispenser knows when my hand is under it and exactly how much soap to squirt into my hand. The water at the sink knows when I need it and precisely how much to spray and at what temperature. The towel dispenser just needs a small wave and it spits out the perfect size of paper towel, or better yet, I can just put my hands in front of the dryer and the hot air just blows right out. It's all just so ridiculously efficient. There are even the automatic, timed, air fresheners that know just when to spritz the perfect amount of pleasant scent into the air.
I'm not complaining, I'm glad I don't have to work at taking care of my necessities.
I'm just disappointed that I have to get my own toilet paper and open my own door. I mean, come on! And why aren't the seats padded?! Why are there not automatic stall doors?! If you're going to make life easier, do it right. I'd like a music controller and speakers in each stall, please, for my listening pleasure during my time in the restroom. I'd like better hooks for my purse, and a spacious, clean place for my bags and/or jacket. I'd like the seat cover to open by itself, right when I'm ready to.....uh....sit down. I'd like thicker, softer toilet paper that has been warmed to the perfect temperature. I'd like the locks on the doors to be automatic and for them to know when to lock and when to unlock without me lifting a finger or even having to wave at them. Each stall should be outfitted with a magazine rack with plenty of magazines for me to choose from. The paper towels really should throw themselves away and the mirror should tell me I look beautiful. Ok, maybe that's a bit much.
So.....there it is. One of the important and vital subjects of our day.....I feel better!
(If any of my suggestions actually get invented and patented, I want a cut.)
