Kyall started complaining about his feet hurting about 2 years ago, at the age of 9.  We didn't think much of it.  One day, we noticed he was walking funny.  We didn't think much of it.  As the months went by and he kept walking funny and kept complaining about his feet, we started taking notice and wondering what was wrong.  We researched foot pain and of course, there are a thousand things that come up, none of them good.

About a year ago, I asked some friends if they knew of a good podiatrist in town.  Both of them said they had experience with a certain one and that he was great!  One of their husbands had actually been operated on by this Dr.  So I called him.

Long story short, the Dr. knew just by looking at Kyall's feet that he had tarsal coalition in both feet, pediatric flatfoot in both and that both heel chords were too short and tight.  Kyall has lived this past year in daily pain, often limping around the house, often playing and running, just gritting his teeth to the pain.  It has been hard to watch.  Just last week, he went to summer camp and couldn't stand in line at the cafeteria because it hurt too much after a day of being on his feet a lot.

Operating is the only way to fix all three of these problems, so we knew we had no choice.  The Dr. only does one foot at a time so the patient isn't basically an invalid for 2 months, so we chose to do the worse foot first.  We also agreed to take care of all 3 problems at the same time.

I gave all my fears to God about the anesthesia, about the pain, about Kyall being afraid, about the meds making him sick, about everything.....then I took them back and fretted and cried and worried all day!!!  Kyall was an excellent patient, didn't cry or complain once through the whole ordeal and I have been so impressed and proud of him.  The Dr. did say he had to do more "digging" than expected as the coalition was big and hard to "cut out".  Uuggh.  Thankfully, Kyall had a constant supply of morphine for 24 hours and really did not feel much pain.  When he woke up from the anesthesia, he asked for me but I was not allowed to go see him because of the Hippa laws.  Just stick a knife in my heart next time, it felt about the same.

Now we are home and he has been hurting and is having a hard time maneuvering around on crutches with a 10 lb. weight on his cut up foot.  The cast is huge and very heavy.  He has been a trooper and just wants this all to be over, but the recovery is just beginning and will be a long process.  My prayer is that by his first day of middle school, he will be walking well and experiencing no pain on his "new" foot.  I know he still has to live with the pain in the other foot until we decide it's a good time to put him through all of this again.

For now, we are thankful for good doctors, good friends, a brother and sister that love and care for Kyall, good pain meds, a great recliner that Kyall has made his little throne, and a God who cares about the big and little trials of our lives.  I am praying Kyall will learn some valuable life lessons through all this.  I'm sure I could learn a thing or two as well!

Trust

Life can be so strange.  We plan, save, look forward and prepare but never really know what a day holds or where life may take us.

In the past 4 years, our family has moved from Peru to Sulphur Springs, TX for a year, moved back to Lima, Peru for a year, moved to the jungle town of Pichanaki, Peru for a year, then moved back to Sulphur Springs for another year.  Craziness.  Now when I am asked a question about the future, I just respond with "Only God knows" because that is the truth.  Life (and God) has taken us on many adventures in many different places, most of which I didn't expect or necessarily plan for.

You'd think I'd be the most flexible person in the world by now, but I still really, really like to know things ahead of time and really, really like to be prepared emotionally for changes.  Life doesn't always work that way, does it?  It does help to be married to the most flexible, adaptable man alive.   I am also very grateful to have super resilient children, who take changes in stride and who amaze me with their strength and trust.  I can learn a lot from them.

We were able to return to Peru for 2 weeks recently, and work alongside some wonderful people from our home church, Central Baptist.  It was such a blessing to see the people in Pichanaki that we were able to win to Christ still attending church, still hungering after God.  It was wonderful to leave them with their own property and church building professionally wired (and well painted!).  I was inspired by the heart and muscle put into the work during this time.  Texans are a strong lot, I'll say that!!!!  It was nice to be back in Peru for a time, but I am also so thankful to be back in the USA, back with our church family.

Wherever life takes us, knowing we are following after a Heavenly Father who has already seen our entire life played out and knows exactly where we need to be and when, we can rest in this and trust that His plans are perfect and good.

A teacher's love

I'm not really a teacher.....yet.  That starts in the fall.  I feel like a teacher, though, having worked at Kids Central for the last year.  I aided, subbed and helped around......and fell in love with the children.  I found myself excited when it was one of their birthdays, or when one lost a tooth....I worried when one was sick for too many days, when one couldn't understand something being taught.....I also wanted to spank a couple of them a time or two!

The teachers from Connecticut and more recently in Oklahoma, are called heroes for shielding and protecting their students, and rightly so.  I do believe most teachers would do the same.  Spending 6-8 hours a day with the same children....eventually they become almost like your own.  I heartily applaud and admire the teachers who thought quickly and did what they thought best to protect their students.  I weep for the ones who lost their lives and for the ones who had to see their little ones hurt or killed.

One day this past year, the fire alarms went off at our school.  My heart about burst through my chest, as the only thing I could think of was the children and getting them out.  I panicked that someone might be in the bathroom and be scared or trapped.  It wasn't really heroic, just instinctive.....the same as if it would have been in my own home.  I knew that I would do anything to keep those kids safe.

I have shed many tears for the people of Conn. and OK in the past few months, thinking of those little ones, but also about what if that would have been the children I love.  I can hardly stand to think about it.

There were also two days this year when two male convicts escaped our local jail and were on the loose, considered armed and dangerous.  Not having any idea where they were or how desperate they might be, all the schools were on "lockdown" and the teachers personally walked each student out to his/her car during pick-up time.  Not only would I have done anything to protect the students I was with, but was deeply grateful to the teachers of my own children for being overly cautious during that time.

It's easy to criticize teachers.  It's easy to think they could do better or wish they weren't as strict or whatever.  The teachers of younger children are mother figures for them and have many opportunities every day to encourage, comfort and bring a smile to the kids' faces.  During the school year, they spend as much or more waking hours with our children then we, the parents do.

They also just might be the ones who save the lives of our children one day.  Let's pray for them daily and take every chance to thank them that we get!

On turning 40

How does one describe the feeling of turning 40??  I still feel like I'm 25 inside, but the gray hairs, slower metabolism and growing children remind me that, yep, it's true....I'm really 40!  The fact that my life is half over, if I live a good, long life, that is, is sobering.

Have I spent my 40 years pointing people to Jesus?  Have I made Him happy?  How can I make the next 40 years much better than the first?  These are some of the questions I have been pondering....

I remember when my own mother turned 40.  She cried.  I'll admit, I shed a few tears as well, but not because I'm sad to be 40, but grateful, expectant and humbled.  I believe God has me on this Earth for a specific purpose and I am grateful He still wants to use me.

I am a goal setter and turning 40, for me, is a great time to set some new ones.....the top five are:
slow down and experience the moment
 understand my husband more deeply and love him in the way he understands best
 stop worrying so much, especially about things out of my control 
love and like my kids with every ounce of strength I have while they are still under my influence
 get into the best shape of my life  

My children asked me how I felt on my birthday.  I told them "happy and blessed"......"and a little bit old!"

My prayer for my children

I am accepting more and more that I cannot protect my children from evil 24/7.  At times, this brings me fear, which I try not to dwell on.  I know my Heavenly Father is also their Heavenly Father and He has promised to fulfill His purpose in each of their lives.  I also know His love for them is far above my own and this comforts me.

This is my heart's cry for my children each day ~

Lord, thank you for Olivia, Kyall and Lucas.  Please protect them when I cannot.  Bring good people into their lives that will love them, encourage them and help them if they need it.  Surround them with your angels in school today, as evil abounds.  Shield their eyes from things that would corrupt or alarm them, protect them from any person who would take advantage of them in any way or hurt them in any way.  Help them to make good decisions, choose their friends wisely, know when to say no and walk away and when to say yes and dive in.  I ask that You would guard their hearts and minds and give them wisdom beyond their years.  Open their eyes to understand Your Word and how to apply it.  I pray for the adults in their lives who I don't know, that they would be responsible and know how to keep my kids safe if the need arises.  Help them to be a light and to be a leader for good among their friends.  Help them to share Jesus any chance they get.  When the day gets rough, please remind them of Your love and that their parents love them dearly too.

In Jesus' name~ their Mom

Real Strength

Women are strong these days, aren't they?  Women feel empowered, liberated, invincible!  Women can do anything, even go to combat in war time.  The news is full of stories of strong women who run marathons, write books, patent inventions, raise families, travel the world, win sporting events......

Strong women is nothing new.  Women of unthinkable strength and bravery is nothing new.  I think of Jochebed, Deborah, Ruth and Esther of the Bible.  Strong doesn't begin to describe them.  They were women unafraid, or at least able to conquer their fears.  Jochebed, the Israelite slave, defied the law of the day to save her son's life.  He was saved and delivered an entire nation out of bondage.  Deborah, the prophetess and judge, accompanied a terrified man into battle, then sang after their victory.  Ruth, the housewife, followed her widowed mother in law to a foreign land, accepting the true God and working hard to provide food for herself and her mother in law.  She eventually became the great grandmother of King David.

Esther, the Jewish beauty, waited and obeyed and saved the Jewish people from slaughter.  Esther fascinates me, with her wisdom, patience, submission, and selflessness.  She not only obeyed the man who had reared her, she married a stranger, continued to ask for advice even from her position as queen, conquered her fear of death and risked her life for others.  She had the courage to look a wrongdoer in the eye and point him out to the king.  She had the courage to live in the palace for several years without revealing her nationality.  She had the courage to wait.  She had the courage to listen to counsel.  She had the courage to count her life as nothing for something greater than herself.  She was a strong woman if there ever was one.

Esther was a real woman with skin and bones, a real woman with a heart, with doubts, fears and insecurities, but balanced with her "realness" was the strength of a lion, the determination of a warrior, the faith of a child.  There are many, many other examples of such strength in women of the Bible, all real, all praised even thousands of years later.

I wonder if today's "strong" woman has the same strength of character and heart as Esther or Jochebed, or if is more of a need to prove worthiness, a search for meaning.  I know balance is an elusive quality and very hard to practice consistently, but I hope to learn how to balance femininity, wisdom and grace with strength - not of body or mind, necessarily, but of character and soul.

(I am looking forward to some serious "girl time" in Heaven with these strong, awesome ladies!)

Easy

Maybe it's because I have lived in a third world country for half of my adult life.  Maybe it's because it just seems ridiculous.  Maybe it's because it makes me think of the poor people on the movie "Wall-E".

Using a public restroom these days is just so easy and convenient!  Everything is automatic!  I don't have to touch or do anything to get my hands squeaky clean and dry.  I don't even have to flush.  The commode knows when I'm finished!  The soap dispenser knows when my hand is under it and exactly how much soap to squirt into my hand.  The water at the sink knows when I need it and precisely how much to spray and at what temperature.  The towel dispenser just needs a small wave and it spits out the perfect size of paper towel, or better yet, I can just put my hands in front of the dryer and the hot air just blows right out.  It's all just so ridiculously efficient.  There are even the automatic, timed, air fresheners that know just when to spritz the perfect amount of pleasant scent into the air.

I'm not complaining, I'm glad I don't have to work at taking care of my necessities.

  I'm just disappointed that I have to get my own toilet paper and open my own door.  I mean, come on!  And why aren't the seats padded?!  Why are there not automatic stall doors?!  If you're going to make life easier, do it right.  I'd like a music controller and speakers in each stall, please, for my listening pleasure during my time in the restroom.  I'd like better hooks for my purse, and a spacious, clean place for my bags and/or jacket.  I'd like the seat cover to open by itself, right when I'm ready to.....uh....sit down.  I'd like thicker, softer toilet paper that has been warmed to the perfect temperature.  I'd like the locks on the doors to be automatic and for them to know when to lock and when to unlock without me lifting a finger or even having to wave at them.  Each stall should be outfitted with a magazine rack with plenty of magazines for me to choose from.  The paper towels really should throw themselves away and the mirror should tell me I look beautiful.  Ok, maybe that's a bit much.

So.....there it is.  One of the important and vital subjects of our day.....I feel better!

(If any of my suggestions actually get invented and patented, I want a cut.)