Sunday, May 12, 2013

On turning 40

How does one describe the feeling of turning 40??  I still feel like I'm 25 inside, but the gray hairs, slower metabolism and growing children remind me that, yep, it's true....I'm really 40!  The fact that my life is half over, if I live a good, long life, that is, is sobering.

Have I spent my 40 years pointing people to Jesus?  Have I made Him happy?  How can I make the next 40 years much better than the first?  These are some of the questions I have been pondering....

I remember when my own mother turned 40.  She cried.  I'll admit, I shed a few tears as well, but not because I'm sad to be 40, but grateful, expectant and humbled.  I believe God has me on this Earth for a specific purpose and I am grateful He still wants to use me.

I am a goal setter and turning 40, for me, is a great time to set some new ones.....the top five are:
slow down and experience the moment
 understand my husband more deeply and love him in the way he understands best
 stop worrying so much, especially about things out of my control 
love and like my kids with every ounce of strength I have while they are still under my influence
 get into the best shape of my life  

My children asked me how I felt on my birthday.  I told them "happy and blessed"......"and a little bit old!"

Monday, April 29, 2013

My prayer for my children

I am accepting more and more that I cannot protect my children from evil 24/7.  At times, this brings me fear, which I try not to dwell on.  I know my Heavenly Father is also their Heavenly Father and He has promised to fulfill His purpose in each of their lives.  I also know His love for them is far above my own and this comforts me.

This is my heart's cry for my children each day ~

Lord, thank you for Olivia, Kyall and Lucas.  Please protect them when I cannot.  Bring good people into their lives that will love them, encourage them and help them if they need it.  Surround them with your angels in school today, as evil abounds.  Shield their eyes from things that would corrupt or alarm them, protect them from any person who would take advantage of them in any way or hurt them in any way.  Help them to make good decisions, choose their friends wisely, know when to say no and walk away and when to say yes and dive in.  I ask that You would guard their hearts and minds and give them wisdom beyond their years.  Open their eyes to understand Your Word and how to apply it.  I pray for the adults in their lives who I don't know, that they would be responsible and know how to keep my kids safe if the need arises.  Help them to be a light and to be a leader for good among their friends.  Help them to share Jesus any chance they get.  When the day gets rough, please remind them of Your love and that their parents love them dearly too.

In Jesus' name~ their Mom

Monday, March 11, 2013

Real Strength

Women are strong these days, aren't they?  Women feel empowered, liberated, invincible!  Women can do anything, even go to combat in war time.  The news is full of stories of strong women who run marathons, write books, patent inventions, raise families, travel the world, win sporting events......

Strong women is nothing new.  Women of unthinkable strength and bravery is nothing new.  I think of Jochebed, Deborah, Ruth and Esther of the Bible.  Strong doesn't begin to describe them.  They were women unafraid, or at least able to conquer their fears.  Jochebed, the Israelite slave, defied the law of the day to save her son's life.  He was saved and delivered an entire nation out of bondage.  Deborah, the prophetess and judge, accompanied a terrified man into battle, then sang after their victory.  Ruth, the housewife, followed her widowed mother in law to a foreign land, accepting the true God and working hard to provide food for herself and her mother in law.  She eventually became the great grandmother of King David.

Esther, the Jewish beauty, waited and obeyed and saved the Jewish people from slaughter.  Esther fascinates me, with her wisdom, patience, submission, and selflessness.  She not only obeyed the man who had reared her, she married a stranger, continued to ask for advice even from her position as queen, conquered her fear of death and risked her life for others.  She had the courage to look a wrongdoer in the eye and point him out to the king.  She had the courage to live in the palace for several years without revealing her nationality.  She had the courage to wait.  She had the courage to listen to counsel.  She had the courage to count her life as nothing for something greater than herself.  She was a strong woman if there ever was one.

Esther was a real woman with skin and bones, a real woman with a heart, with doubts, fears and insecurities, but balanced with her "realness" was the strength of a lion, the determination of a warrior, the faith of a child.  There are many, many other examples of such strength in women of the Bible, all real, all praised even thousands of years later.

I wonder if today's "strong" woman has the same strength of character and heart as Esther or Jochebed, or if is more of a need to prove worthiness, a search for meaning.  I know balance is an elusive quality and very hard to practice consistently, but I hope to learn how to balance femininity, wisdom and grace with strength - not of body or mind, necessarily, but of character and soul.

(I am looking forward to some serious "girl time" in Heaven with these strong, awesome ladies!)

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Easy

Maybe it's because I have lived in a third world country for half of my adult life.  Maybe it's because it just seems ridiculous.  Maybe it's because it makes me think of the poor people on the movie "Wall-E".

Using a public restroom these days is just so easy and convenient!  Everything is automatic!  I don't have to touch or do anything to get my hands squeaky clean and dry.  I don't even have to flush.  The commode knows when I'm finished!  The soap dispenser knows when my hand is under it and exactly how much soap to squirt into my hand.  The water at the sink knows when I need it and precisely how much to spray and at what temperature.  The towel dispenser just needs a small wave and it spits out the perfect size of paper towel, or better yet, I can just put my hands in front of the dryer and the hot air just blows right out.  It's all just so ridiculously efficient.  There are even the automatic, timed, air fresheners that know just when to spritz the perfect amount of pleasant scent into the air.

I'm not complaining, I'm glad I don't have to work at taking care of my necessities.

  I'm just disappointed that I have to get my own toilet paper and open my own door.  I mean, come on!  And why aren't the seats padded?!  Why are there not automatic stall doors?!  If you're going to make life easier, do it right.  I'd like a music controller and speakers in each stall, please, for my listening pleasure during my time in the restroom.  I'd like better hooks for my purse, and a spacious, clean place for my bags and/or jacket.  I'd like the seat cover to open by itself, right when I'm ready to.....uh....sit down.  I'd like thicker, softer toilet paper that has been warmed to the perfect temperature.  I'd like the locks on the doors to be automatic and for them to know when to lock and when to unlock without me lifting a finger or even having to wave at them.  Each stall should be outfitted with a magazine rack with plenty of magazines for me to choose from.  The paper towels really should throw themselves away and the mirror should tell me I look beautiful.  Ok, maybe that's a bit much.

So.....there it is.  One of the important and vital subjects of our day.....I feel better!

(If any of my suggestions actually get invented and patented, I want a cut.)

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

One of a kind

It's amazing how unique each person is, from the way he or she looks, to the way he stands, laughs and sleeps to the way she thinks, sits and writes.  Our uniqueness is beyond human understanding.  My fingerprints are unlike any of the other billions of people in this world.  My perspective, speech and love language are only mine.  God truly puts love and thought into each of His creations and not only into us humans, but as we know and marvel at, into the tiny snowflakes and hummingbirds too!

Each one of my children is so very different from the other.  We have had our turn with the flu epidemic and it's funny to watch how each handles sickness and discomfort differently.  I won't embarrass them by naming which does what, but I have the one who whines, cries and doesn't want to eat anything because everything tastes "different".  I have the one who is tough, follows instructions for getting well and turns sweet and docile when sick.  Then there's the one who gets angry at the sickness and so frustrated that it takes so long to go away.  The thing that is consistent, though, is that they each need and want their mom!

Handling illness is kind of a silly example of the uniqueness of my children, but just as they handle discomfort so completely differently, they also handle love, discipline, learning and heartache differently.  It is my job as a parent to be an expert on each one of them, to learn their ways, how they think and how they feel about things.  It is not easy.  Just when I think I've got them each figured out, they do something completely outside of the norm, contradicting what I was sure was their "way".

I'm so glad my God knows me inside and out, intimately and thoroughly, from the number of hairs on my head to the depth of my dreams and feelings.  He made me, after all.  He gave me my personality, my nose, and my heart.  I often get frustrated with my children.  Can't they all just be the same so life would be simpler for me?  Why can't they each just open wide the mouth and happily take the spoonful of medicine?  No, one has to hold his nose and gag it down.  One prefers pills.  One thinks medicine is candy and would overdose if I didn't pay attention.  Thankfully, God doesn't get frustrated with His children.  He revels in our uniqueness and loves me just how He made me.   What a wonderful thought.


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Music is one of God's greatest gifts to mankind.  Music has been an intregal and important part of my life for as long as I can remember.  I love all kinds of music, from country to opera and everything in between.  Hearing certain songs brings back some of the most joyful memories of my life as well as some of the most painful.  There have been times where music has gotten me through the day.

Both of my parents sing very well and I grew up watching my dad lead the congregational singing in church, as well as the choir.  I had the privilege of being in school choirs for most of my growing up years and of being taught by some very talented people.  When I was in high school, I finally got the nerve to sing duets, trios and in small choral groups.  Such fun!  As a Junior in high school, my friend and I joined the adult church choir.....the only teenagers to do such a thing.

One of the things I missed so very much living overseas for 15 years was singing......in English, with others, especially in a choir.  In Cuba, 13 years ago, I joined a church choir for their Christmas cantata, without knowing any Spanish.  I just wanted to sing!  My eyes were glued to the music the entire time.  After that, I sang in a church choir in Delaware for about 2 months, then didn't sing in any kind of group until we came to Central Baptist in 2010 and I jumped into the choir.  I enjoyed it so very much. It was like being home.  Once again, I'm back in the Central choir and love the practice, the challenge and the chance to edify, encourage and praise through music.

When I heard about the Northeast Texas Choral Society, I was very interested.  Brent works with one of the pianists, so when she mentioned that auditions were open this month, I thought it sounded like fun.....why not?  I really wasn't too terribly nervous until the lady who auditioned before me was turned down flat.  After my audition, when the director shook my hand and said "welcome", I was so excited and relieved.  I think I actually did a fist pump.  Our first rehearsal was all work, no play.  Fifteen pieces of music were handed out.  There is no going over parts like I'm used to, just singing!  It was so much fun.  We are practicing for a concert in May called "Sing to me of Heaven" and all of the songs are either spirituals or songs about God, His grace and His goodness.  They are absolutely beautiful.
The icing on the cake is that I have to.....uh, get to buy a formal black dress.  Yes!  I'm going to love this!

Mostly, I am thankful for the gift of music, the talent God has given me and the chance to sing to Him and for Him.

"Sing to the Lord a new song!"

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

What is it about snow that makes me happy?  Is it the jaw dropping beauty?  Yes!  Is it the clean, pure white?  Yes!  Is it the wonder of millions of different snowflakes falling?  Yes!  Is it the possibility of a day off of work?  Yes!  Is it the bright eyes and shrieks of my kids?  Yes!  Is it the boys throwing it, eating it and making a snowman?  Yes!  Is the excuse to stay in comfy, warm clothes and puffy slippers all day?  Yes!  

Having grown up in Virginia, I've seen some serious snow.  I love the pictures my parents have of one of their cars totally buried in snow when I was about eight years old.  I always waited anxiously to see if school would be delayed two hours of if we would get the whole day off.  

We had the coolest house on the block when I was a girl.....for one reason and one reason only.  Our back yard was a huge hill and excellent for snow sledding.  Any time there was snow, neighbors we had never even met would congregate in our back yard and sled down our awesome hill.  My mom used to get so irritated that strangers would just use our yard without asking!  Every once in awhile, a polite child would knock on the door and ask for permission to sled.  We had such fun sledding down that hill, wiping out, daring each other to go down the fastest part, seeing who could go the farthest, freezing all the while.  The only negative was tromping back up that big old hill, pulling the sled behind us, only to repeat the whole thing again.

Since moving to Texas, we have heard numerous times that it doesn't snow here.  Bummer.  Interestingly, it has already snowed three times this winter......not a ton, granted, but it is snow.  On Christmas day, we were shocked and thrilled when it snowed the hugest cotton ball snowflakes I had ever seen!  It was such a sweet gift for us.  Today it snowed a little bit and it is cold enough that the kids get a two hour delay at school tomorrow.  Yay!

What is it about snow that makes me happy?  Everything!